Elementary school and I had no idea about my hard of hearing

I still remember some time in my fourth grade when my mom told me that a teacher told her–presumably during a parent-teacher conference–that I usually didn’t pay attention when the teacher asked something. I said I didn’t know what that teacher was talking about. Weird. I didn’t feel like I had ever intentionally ignore my teacher. I think this is the earliest memory I can recall about my hard of hearing. Though at that time, I still didn’t know for sure that I was hard of hearing.

Junior high school and the rise of Lemot (short for lemah otak, perhaps in english weak-brained?)

A particular scene from my seventh grade comes to mind. I believe it had to do for my not doing my homework. My physics teacher punished me by making me sit on the floor near the trash bin in the corner of the classroom. That far, I could still understand such punishment typically given to anyone who hadn’t done their homework. I don’t agree with what came next. The physics teacher then came up to me and mumbled something to me–I use the word “mumble” here, perhaps other people with normal hearing could always tell what he was saying. I couldn’t hear it, being the naive teenager boy I was, I replied with a simple, “Huh?”. Again, he spoke what he had mumbled earlier, but I still couldn’t hear it. I replied, “Hm?”. I don’t remember how it went exactly afterwards. It seemed to me, he then decided to not ask me any further and instead make fun of me. He then uttered, seemingly intentional, “Huh huh huh?”. To which I replied, “What?”, then he and the class burst out laughing. He pulled the same joke again and the class still laughed at that. I decided to just ignore him, he figured it’s time to continue teaching the class, I guessed. To this date, I still don’t know what he asked from me. But it really sucked. The moment he decided to dismiss his original intention on asking what he had wanted to ask, then began making joke of my hard of hearing, truly sucked. I believe this is the beginning of how lemot came to be used among my classmates.

I don’t know for sure when my class started calling me lemot. I think it was at the end of eighth grade. By the time I was a ninth grader, it became apparent to me that my classmates associated me with the term lemot. At some point in my ninth grade, a friend said something to me, and I took a long pause processing what he had said, figuring out what he said to me. It never occurred to me to just skip the hassle and just asked him what he had said (yes, I was still stupid). I was so worried that people would wonder why I couldn’t listen to what was spoken so obvious and clear in front of me. In the end, I didn’t give a reply. It typically ended with them saying, “You are being lemot again!”

That hurt my feelings, sure enough. I don’t think it has anything to do with my being really weak-brained or not. I think the most upsetting part is when they use my hard of hearing as means of entertainment. The sight of them laughing together at me was the most hurtful part. It sucked big time when they laughed! Well, that or I don’t really know how to take a joke?

I think it wasn’t until my senior year (12th grade) of high school that I managed to make a few friends and enjoy myself. My class during senior high school is really different than my junior high school. My senior year of high school is the time I first learned to just tell someone up front about my hard of hearing and not to worry too much about it. I should also mention that, back then (my 12th grade), I was fairly comfortable enough being up front about my hard of hearing because I had been with the same people (my classmates) since the beginning of 11th grade. It wasn’t until I entered university that I could be more up front about it even to some stranger I had just met. As some sports equipment brand put it, “Just do it”.

Those were excerpts of my school life stories and that is all for now. I might continue with a similar story during my university life.